I BECAME A DAD AT THE AGE OF 50. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

By Richard Irvine

From as long as I can remember, I’ve always been playing catch-up.

As a result of my birthday falling at the end of the school year, I started my formal education 6 months later than my classmates. Don’t ask me why, it’s just the way the UK education system works.

Prior to taking up my place at art school, I worked for 2 years to help fund my degree and not surprisingly found myself older than many of my contemporaries.

And by the time I landed my first full time job, my peers were invariably more experienced and thus better paid.

So it should come as no surprise that at a time when all my 30 year old friends were knee-deep in soiled nappies, baby wipes and sleep deprivation, I was far too focussed on making up for lost time to think about fatherhood.

I would defer that particular decision to a later date. Much later as it turned out.

Twenty years on, I became a dad. Not once, not twice but three times over. Incidentally less than 1% of all first time fathers are 50 or older.

So, do I have any regrets about leaving it so late? For being included in the 1%?

Well, yes and no.

On the negative side, and in terms of longevity it’s unlikely that I will be around to help my children navigate and celebrate the ups and downs of their adult lives and this, if I allow it to, makes me feel profoundly sad.

On the flip side, being the age that I am now, has enabled me to be much more involved, more present and active in their upbringing.

It’s absolved me of the curse that afflicts most working parents - the guilt of not being there. I’ve been granted the gift of bearing witness to the everyday, not just the landmark events.

Golden, irreplaceable moments.

And with age comes a degree of perspective and knowledge. So whilst I would shy away from using the words “imparted wisdom”, I have thus far lived a rich, colourful life and I have many stories to share.

Personally, being a later life father has allowed me to be just the kind of dad that I always hoped to be.

Maybe, just maybe, I’ve finally caught up.

Richard is Head of Creative at A3A

richard@a3age.com