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I BECAME A FIRST TIME DAD AT THE AGE OF 50. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Writer's picture: Richard IrvineRichard Irvine

By Richard Irvine


My youngest sees at first hand the effect of a rare Sheffield Wednesday FC win
My youngest sees at first hand the effect of a rare Sheffield Wednesday FC win

From as long as I can remember, I’ve always been playing catch-up.


As a result of my birthday falling at the end of the school year, I started my formal education 6 months later than my classmates. Don’t ask me why, it’s just the way the UK education system works.


Prior to taking up my place at art school, I worked for 2 years to help fund my degree and not surprisingly found myself older than many of my contemporaries.


And by the time I landed my first full time job, my peers were invariably more experienced and thus better paid.


So it should come as no surprise that at a time when all my 30 year old friends were knee-deep in soiled nappies, baby wipes and sleep deprivation, I was far too focussed on making up for lost time to think about fatherhood.


I would defer that particular decision to a later date. Much later as it turned out.


Twenty years on, I became a dad. Not once, not twice but three times over. Incidentally less than 1% of all first time fathers are 50 or older.


So, do I have any regrets about leaving it so late? For being included in the 1%?


Well, yes and no.


On the negative side, and in terms of longevity it’s unlikely that I will be around to help my children navigate and celebrate the ups and downs of their adult lives and this, if I allow it to, makes me feel profoundly sad.


On the flip side, being the age that I am now, has enabled me to be much more involved, more present and active in their upbringing.


It’s absolved me of the curse that afflicts most working parents - the guilt of not being there. I’ve been granted the gift of bearing witness to the everyday, not just the landmark events.


Golden, irreplaceable moments.


And with age comes a degree of perspective and knowledge. So whilst I would shy away from using the words “imparted wisdom”, I have thus far lived a rich, colourful life and I have many stories to share.


Personally, being a later life father has allowed me to be just the kind of dad that I always hoped to be.


Maybe, just maybe, I’ve finally caught up.


Richard Irvine is Head of Creative at A3A Agency for the Third Age and author of "Sophia's BFF" and "The girl who jumped over the cow"

















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